As part of the release of the Major League Baseball Players Weekend uniforms and hats, it was announced that players will be wearing nicknames on the back of their jerseys rather than their last names. I want to share who I think has the best nickname for each team. We’ll do the American
A group with this much earned swagger is going to have some good nicknames, but you can’t go wrong with a How I Met Your Mother reference as Jake Marisnick will be wearing “Big Fudge” on his back.
As we could have guessed, Albert Pujols went with “The Machine,” but catcher Martin Maldonado with “Cascajo.” My Spanish is a little rusty (nonexistent), so Google tells me one of the meanings for that is “grit.” As a catcher, I love it.
I’m a sucker for a Bull Durham reference, so Josh Phegley takes the cake with “PTBNL,” which stands for “Player to be Named Later.”
Jarrod Dyson is one of the fastest guys in MLB, so his nickname “Zoombiya” (read zoom-by-ya) is fitting and clever, but Kyle Seager is embracing his younger brother’s tremendous success with the LA Dodgers with “Corey’s Brother.
In case you don’t know, Mike Napoli is a big dude, so “Porterhouse” is only fitting for a beefy guy with a manly beard who hits homers.
Chicago White Sox
The White Sox mostly abbreviated names to get nicknames, but Derek Holland has the most baseball nickname of the bunch with “Dutch.” Think about it for a minute, you’ll get it.
There are a lot of good ones with the Indians, but the best is Trevor Bauer with “Bauer Outage” because I like puns.
They must not like fun in Detroit (losing will do that) because there are only five going with nicknames, and one of them is the manager. Mikie Mahtook wins the best of the worst award with “Night Hawk.”
Kansas City Royals
Drew Butera wins by a landslide with “The Don,” because everybody knows you don’t mess with The Don.
I’m not sure what this says about Jorge Polanco, but his nickname is hilarious with “Chulo.” Again, I don’t speak Spanish, but Google says that means “pimp.”
I don’t know how you can’t cheer for a guy with the nickname “Swaggy T.” Tim Beckham has a new fan right here.
Boston Red Sox
Drew Pomeranz is heading into Shaq territory with “Big Smooth,” but rookie Andrew Benintendi edges him with “Benny.” This might be because he still looks like a kid who could go by Benny.
New York Yankees
Jacoby Ellsbury might have the coolest nickname in “Chief.” I’m assuming this points to his Navajo heritage.
Tampa Bay Rays
I don’t know why, but shortstops seem to get the nickname game. Adeiny Hechavarria takes the Rays’ clubhouse with “La Pantera,” or “The Panther.”
Toronto Blue Jays
“Bringer of Rain” is a solid nickname, but the background is even cooler. Josh Donaldson loves Spartacus and took his name from there.
Be sure to check back Thursday for the National League teams.
Photo by Brigham Berthold